Firstly — I wish to send my condolences to the Bowie family, it’s terrible when people die obviously and my thoughts are with his family.
However, over the past few days, my Facebook Timeline, Twitter Feed, Instagram Posts and my inbox have taken a severe pasting from friends of mine and the global population of the planet in general, who are all keen to tell anyone who will listen, just how “devastated” they are at his passing and how much he had “inspired” them.
For the purposes of our magazine, I felt that it was important to undertake some cutting edge investigative research into this unfounded claim of “fandom”, and I can conclusively reveal, that these emotionally charged statements of being a full time Bowie fan, are in-fact as legitimate as this picture;
You’re a 20 year old girl, you were not even born when Bowie was making tunes and not once over the course of your entire online history, have you ever posted anything across your social media that even mentions his name — So why then, are you now suddenly copying and pasting his lyrics for your latest status and changing your profile picture to his image as a mark of respect?
There are only a few events in life that can kickstart a social media bandwagon into life. Firstly, old artists like Bowie dying, and let’s be honest, only your Dad ever enjoyed. Secondly, we have the “Superbowl” which comes to London once a year — isn’t it amazing how suddenly everyone is an expert on what position the line-back should be in, and how disappointed they are with the current form of Kirk Cousins, the Quarterback of the Washington Redskins.
The sad reality is, the only prior knowledge you have of the NFL is watching Ace Ventura mate — so please pipe down.
Finally we have American politics — Now, I know that this may seem hypocritical as I have dedicated many hours to writing about the current presidential campaigns and my opinions on the subject, but this is my job — I kinda have to do it, unlike the thousands of part-time Facebook journalists who now want to start dishing out their opinion on every part of Trump’s election campaign. I hate to break it to you sweetheart, but Trump’s policies won’t affect you petal, you live in Cornwall.
I must reiterate that I am not bashing Bowie, my Dad tells me was cool — but I just wish people were a bit more honest and transparent about their selective “grief” when people die — as the fact is — it’s highly likely that the people who are still wiping away their online tears were the ones to tell their Dads to “turn the music down” when they started blasting out *Space Oddity on the iPod and dancing around the living room in their pants.
* “Space Oddity” is a Bowie song by the way. You probably didn’t know that.