I have always admired those that have the ambition to go out there and make money whatever that may be, but the world wide web is now in serious trouble of being completely saturated, by what I like to call, “The Twat-unkhamuns”, who despite never having visited the ancient ruins of Giza are one pyramid short of being a fully blow Egyptian national…
Yes, ladies and gentleman, i’m talking about those “pyramid scheme”, oops — I mean “Multi Level Marketers” who are quite literally taking over the world and your social networks, selling you; “Fit Juice”, “Deep Clean 9 trial packs”, or peddling a new fucking organic face cream which will “Change your life!”
I have to admit, when I saw the advert, it did change my life amazingly, as I was more pissed off at the world after reading it than I was before, so congratulations.
As far as true statements go, that is sadly where it ends. The products being touted around alongside these particularly annoying captions are basically shit. In-fact, when we look at what’s in these products, chowing down on the contents of your toilet bowl would probably be far more beneficial.
What these “health” products are asking you to effectively do, is replace your meals with cancer causing powered chemicals such as Aspartame, that simply act as a laxative to lose the weight. It’s really not rocket science despite their life changing ambitious claims.
Aside from the obvious fraud “Twat-unkhamuns” are taking part in, what I find almost as annoying is the “Self-made, high flying, independent bad bitch image” that they like to portray on social media.
It’s strange — one day you are posting about being unemployed and hating life, then you find Herbalife and you start dishing out inspirations quotes, inviting everyone to your “Secret” Facebook group and telling everyone about how you are going to the “Level 2 conference” in Mexico next summer. Piss off please.
The sad reality is that you live on 50p a day, are probably overweight yourself and in no position to dish out health advice, and the only people that buy your latest “Boost Shake” is your nan — not because she is training for the next “Pensioner Olympic” qualifiers, but because she feels sorry for you, as we all do.
I don’t want to “Join the revolution”, neither do I want to pay a company who are making vast profits $99.99 for a starter pack, just so I can make 10p per sale and lose all my friends after a week of harassing them to “Sign up” with me.
Despite the obvious “perk” of being able to call myself a “consultant” and the sheer joy of being able to abuse my Facebook profile with before and after pictures from a week of “Raspberry Blast Shakes”, I couldn’t actually think of anything worse to do with my life.
So please — next time you think about sending me a message about holding an “Arbonne face cream party”, please remember that there is a vast majority of us that simply don’t care, even if we are missing out on the “Greatest natural jungle herb, the universe has ever seen”