Justin Bieber was recently in town performing for the Jingle bell Ball in London, and whilst there were plenty of Beliebers out in force ready to capture a picture with the singer or get close enough to sniff his hoody, his appearance in London also brought out a more embarrassing creature, The Kiss And Teller….
The Kiss And Teller is an interesting critter and one I have yet to fully understand in any form of mental capacity, although you can normally spot one with a little bit of research.
K&T’s will always share the same “CV” of failed modelling castings, a BBC3 reality show, an Amazon Wishlist on their Twitter, a Daily Star page 3 shoot and a long list of Z-list boyfriends which include an extra who once played the “shadow” of Daniel Radcliffe in Harry Potter or a substitute footballer in a Sunday league.
I do not have a problem per se with girls who want to sell their ovaries to the highest bidder, but I think there is something particularly unclassy about a girl who goes out of her way to entice a celebrity with their vaginas that look like a yawning hippo, sleep with them and then sell the story the next day.
Let’s take a snippet from her story she sold to The Sun below. Does this make you cringe as much as me?
Speaking to The Sun on Sunday, Laura said: “There were four boys and a group of ten girls, all really glamorous. The party was in full swing and Justin was showing off his dance moves.”
After swigging some champagne, Laura said Justin started playing truth or dare with the ladies present before leading one girl into his bedroom.
Twenty minutes later Justin came swaggering back into the room clad in his boxer shorts before nodding to a pal to grab Laura.
She said: “It was amazing and surreal. The lights were off and we started kissing against a wall. When I looked over there was another girl. I think she was American.
“They clearly had been doing something. We got on the bed and all started fooling around together.”
Laura said Bieber was amazing in the sack, but Leeds-born Laura said her female bedmate didn’t like all the attention 21-year-old was lavishing on her so left the pair alone.
“Justin didn’t go after her. In fact, he seemed more into it, happier, when it was just me and him. We had the most amazing sex,” Laura said.
Laura Carter told The Daily Star in an interview prior to her gang-bang, that;
“I’ve had an amazing career. I’ve done this for 10 years now, and I’ve done some amazing things. Things just happen to me, I don’t plan anything”
In the interests of serious investigative journalism, let’s take a look at her “amazing career”. The first port of call was Laura’s StarNow page which is packed to the brim with high profile feature films, such as: The Plant, by Alex Haproff and my personal favourite, “Make It Plumb” by Martin Scorsese, wait, sorry stand at ease – I mean Nate Camponi.
So it’s clear from her career that her acting and modelling was not taking off as well as she has claimed and at 30 years old with breasts that are starting to “swing low” like the chants of an english rugby supporter, desperate times calls for desperate measures. This is where the Biebs come in.
Laura is now clinging onto her new found celebr…., actually “tramp” status for dear life by going down the route of hiring a photographer to take some unexpected “pap” pictures of her “morning jog” and sell them to the press. Amazingly, The Daily Mail decided that the world wants to see a ginger Josie Cunningham in a pair of lycra pants – so here are the pictures in their full glory.
Laura, we hope that you are proud of sleeping with Justin Bieber, It truly is a great accomplishment that you will now forever be remembered for. The thing is though, this story will die down in a couple of days, the money you made will soon run out and you will be back to square one on the phone to Nate Camponi begging him to let you take part in “Make It Plumb part 2”