Self-proclaimed ‘Vegan Lactivist’ — Abbie Stocker recently caught the headlines as it was revealed that she is suing her local leisure centre for ‘discrimination’ — after a lifeguard dared to sensibly request that she remove her dripping nipples from the ‘wave pool’ and feed her baby on a chair besides the swimming pool instead. A perfectly reasonable request many would argue…
Abbie is part of a growing community of ‘new-age’, attention-seeking feminazis who contemptuously take every available opportunity to whip out their udders in the most inappropriate places. Desperately waiting for the perfect opportunity to cry ‘foul-play’ when anyone dare have the ‘audacity’ to take issue with their selfish disrespect to those around them.
“It’s only natural’ I hear them self-righteously shriek in response. Well, so is taking a shit — but you wouldn’t pull down your organic, fair-trade cotton skirt in Whole Foods and take a dump by the Vitamin C aisle would you?
I must make it clear, that as a young, red-blooded male — I am actually a huge fan of the ‘breast’. The mammary gland can be quite the thing of beauty and rightly deserves to be shown the utmost respect. But…
Whilst the sight of your dairy pillows may be appealing in String Fellows after several JagerBombs — I can’t think of anything worse than accidentally swallowing some rogue droplets of your smelly, homemade clotted boob cream in the deep-end of my local swimming baths. Nevermind ‘no bombing’ in the pool, how’s about ‘no boobing’ instead?
Nobody is questioning your basic ‘human-right’ to feed your child, I get that — but there is a time and a place where you need to turn off the taps and graciously retreat to an area where you can ‘nurse’ your child — without selfishly subjecting the rest of us to the sight of your ugly baby chowing down on your red-raw areolas in the process.
This is not about feeding your baby — be honest with yourself and admit, that this is simply about narcissistically parading your organs to the world and seeking the attention that you desperately crave. Believe it or not, your baby will not die of famine in the time in takes you to put your swollen baps away and walk the 5 meters to the edge of the pool?
Breastfeeding used to be an intimate, magical bonding experience between mother and child. Fast forward 10 years and the whole thing has been hijacked by vegetarian, hemp-wearing, ‘free-the-nipple’ crusaders as an excuse to push their own feminist agenda. Frankly it makes me sick, but not quite as sick as being forced to witness your precious little darling tucking into an all you can eat buffet on your swingers….