During your lifetime, there is a good chance that at some point you will need to step-up to the plate and deliver one of the most nerve wracking speeches of your life. The dreaded ‘Best Man Speech’…
It’s important to prepare as much as possible for this monumental occasion, as the last thing you want to do is cause an irreversible rift between the bride and groom and put a dampener on the evenings festivities. No pressure…
Fortunately, we have the essential guide to show you how to write the perfect best man speech and ensure you don’t make yourself look like a complete ignoramus on this very special day.
When it comes to standing up in front of a crowd and public speaking, 50% of the population absolutely love it, and the rest, the very thought of it brings them out in a cold sweat. No matter which category of people you fall into, its important that you try and boost every chance you have of delivering a killer best man speech by preparing fully!
If you want to be remembered for all of the right reasons, then here are some helpful tips on writing the perfect best man speech.
Preparation is key!
Many people overlook the need to prepare prior to standing up and finally delivering the fateful speech. We cannot stress enough, if you walk into the venue thinking that you can blag it on the day, this is a recipe for disaster that will only end in tears…
It may sound like common sense, but try and mull over a few ideas several weeks before the big day with a private brainstorming session to gather your thoughts. Try and think of stories, quotes and jokes that remind you of memorable times that you spent with the groom to be.
If you don’t know too much about your best buddies relationship, then don’t be afraid to ask the bride-to-be. Don’t be shy! Ask her how they met and i’m sure she will be happy to oblige in revealing some interesting stories about the early stages of their relationship to help you along the way…
It’s important to try and keep everything light-hearted, try and focus on stories that will show the groom in a positive light. After all, your job is to celebrate this occasion and make them look good!
According to Bliss magazine, “Start writing a best man speech at least two months before the wedding,” as the closer you get to the big day the less time you will have to prepare with all of the inevitable distractions that comes with being a best man.
If you want to watch fine example of someone who has failed to prepare properly in writing the best man speech, then check out this painful effort which appears to go down like a lead balloon…
Keep away from the booze!
This can sometimes be the most difficult personal struggle for a best man. But, I cannot stress enough, wait until your importance job is done before necking back the champagne and downing the Jager bombs.
There is nothing wrong with having a few glasses of wine at the meal, alcohol can help please the anxiety and give you a much-needed confidence boost. But, there is a very fine line between this, and dribbling down your chin and slurring your speech.
Alcohol can cause overconfidence, so the last thing you want is to accidentally say something that you will heavily regret the morning after. This day is not about you, this is about the bride and groom and you must not forget the important job you have to do.
It is a very high-risk strategy, but sometimes, getting completely off your face can work miracles! Take a look at this chat for example who spends the entire speech with double vision and slurring like he’s just come out the dentist. Yet, amazingly has the entire room in the palm of his hand…
Open with gratitude!
A great way to start speech, is by thanking all of the people you have come together to make this celebration possible. Make sure that you single out the bride and grooms parents for special praise, and for also raising too beautiful and intelligent children. Also, be sure to thank all of the guests for attending as well.
Some guests may have traveled far and wide to attend the wedding. So, a few nice words to show your appreciation for their attendance will go along way.
Don’t forget to introduce yourself!
Whilst many people will put two-and-two together and work out that you are the best man by now. It’s important that you informally introduce yourself to the wedding guests, and most importantly, how you became to know the bride and groom.
Even if you have not fully memorised your entire speech, try and memorise this initial introduction so that you can open sincerely and set the right tone for the rest of your speech.
Sometimes, writing a best man speech can be a bit like playing golf. Rather than over-thinking the process, relax, take a deep breath, and just hit the ball.
What I’m trying to say, is that it is important that you be yourself, don’t get too hung up on trying to deliver the most perfectly formal speech if that does not reflect your personality. Whilst we highly recommend you stick to some conventions, what is far more important is that you keep your relationship with the groom true (even if it is a somewhat children’s rated version)!
If your friends and family know you as being the ‘funny guy in the group’ then try and make your best man speech reflect that. Try not to force yourself to being too over sentimental, a few honest words will get the message across much better without making you feel as if you are ‘faking it’…
Try and avoid controversy….
This may be simple common sense again, but this important tip somehow manages to escape the minds of many best men as they stand there nervously, microphone in hand, in front of a large crowd of people.
A speech can go from great to an absolute disaster in the space of one lame, controversial, joke. Try not to make a joke which is the expense of the groom and his new wife, as these rarely go down very well with an audience. Furthermore, don’t spend the entire evening talking about the grooms past relationships, nobody wants to know, particularly his wife.
Try and keep it tactful and focus on the positives as opposed to any potential negatives. If you do have a funny story in mind, but are unsure as to whether it will be suitable or not, then run it past the bride-to-be, or your own family and friends first. They will be the best people to tell you whether or not to add it into your best man speech!
If you want to know what a best man looks like, when they are crashing and burning. Watch this hilarious episode from the hit TV show ‘Impractical Jokers’ where he is set a task to perform the most cringeworthy best man speech ever…
Keep it short, don’t waffle!
Inevitably you’ll be incredibly nervous delivering this fateful speech, so why unnecessarily make this ordeal last longer than it needs to? Some of the best, Best man speeches I have ever heard have only been a couple of minutes, but have had the most impact on the audience!
Sometimes it can be hard capturing the attention of an audience if you continue to waffle on and on, trying to cram as much information about your relationship with the bride and groom as possible. Why not think about writing a short and sweet, punchy best man speech instead?
Ultimately, this special day is not about you, but the bride and groom instead. Your role as the best man is to support the happy couple — and not take centre stage and take the attention away from them. If you’re looking for some good examples of a short and sweet best man speech, then check out this video below! This guy nails it 🙂
And Finally… Don’t forget to propose a toast!
Celebrating the evening and wishing a happy couple all of the best in their future life together is the most important part of writing a best man speech. A simple, ‘If everyone can kindly join me in raising their glasses to toast the bride and groom’ will go down very well with the guests and end of speech perfectly on a positive note.
Still struggling for ideas?
Take a look at some of these fantastic templates and one-liners, to get you off to a good start!
If you’re still struggling to write a best man speech, we highly recommend this fantastic eBook called, ‘best man speech insight’ which has some fantastic, in-depth, tips and tricks to help you deliver the best, best man speech ever and avoid being outcast by the bride and groom for the foreseeable future….